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Knock Knock Who's there ? Curry ! Curry who ? Curry me back home will you !
Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor? Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.
What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk !
My brother's just opened a shop. Really? How's he doing? Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.
Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.
How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...
Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!' 'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.
Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
A group of hunters fully equipped with rifles, ammo and camping supplies, came upon a young boy armed only with a slingshot. "What are you hunting for?" asked an older hunter. "I don't know. I ain't seen it yet," said the boy.
Where do hamsters come from ? Hamsterdam !
Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. "Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die." "Shure, an' why would he be dyin'?" asked the other. "Ah, he's gotten so thin. You're thin enough, and I'm thin -- but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together."
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing? Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.
I tried to send an e-mail and broke my computer. How do you manage that? I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.
A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. "I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane. "I'm the smarest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane." "You don't have to stay here! The world's smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack."
Knock Knock Who's there ! Brian ! Brian who ? Brian drain !
There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot. When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place. When the brothers moved away from each other to go on with their lives with their new wife, they all promised each other that they would still go to the bar every friday at 5:30 and drink for each other. On the first Friday that the brothers were separated, the first brother went to a local bar and ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the first glass the took one sip from the second glass then from the third. He did this until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and went home. This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally asked why he did that. The guy explained about the promise th at he had with his brothers. The bartender said that he thought that was a very good promise to keep with each other. One day the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer. The bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully sorry about your brother." The guy not knowing anything about what the bartender was talking about said "What happened to him?" The bartender said that when he only ordered two drinks instead of three he thought that something awful had happened. The brother then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just decided to give up alcohol."
How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? With a hare dryer!
Q: What did the leper say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip.
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
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