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Knock Knock Who's there ! Cash ! Cash who ? Cash me if you can !

My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.

Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup! Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading

Why does Dracula have no friends? Because he's a pain in the neck.

What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ? You can't keep a good man down !

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Banjo Barbie ...complete with straw hat and Earl Scruggs cassette

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!

THE teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their fathers did for a living and then spell the occupation. Mary went first. "My Dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give everyone a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker, b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician.'' But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to Johnny. "My dad's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8 to 5 that Jimmy ain't never gonnaspell electrician."

A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.

Why do we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?

Ref: I'm sending you off Player: What for? Ref: The rest of the match!

How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? With a hare dryer!

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?

Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair all down her back. Harry: Pity it's not on her head!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Castor ! Castor who ? Castorblanca !

Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed!

Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ? She's got that down in the mouth look !

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? He called the piano tuna!


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