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Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !

What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.

Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy? None - because they were all redskins.

How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden

What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, 'Watch out for worms won't you !' The first one replied, 'why should I ? They can watch out for themselves.

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ? Because they're crab apples !

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away? When you take careful aim.

First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's eating you? Second apple: Worms, I think.

Why did Eve want to move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands? He brought it to school and said, 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms won't you!" The first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !

What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.

If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs? None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.

A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, "How much are yer apples?" "All you can pick for one dollar," said the rancher. "Okay," said the Pennsylvanian. "I'll take two dollars' worth."

The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!"

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one schoolboy indignantly. "What's it taste of ?" asked the cook. "Glue!" "Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."

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