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Random Jokes

What dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle !

Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, "Would you like a plug for it?" The idiot replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric."

Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I'll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says "to be taken in water."

Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !

Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five?

Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, 'Oh, God, are you still in there?'

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !

Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine.

Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.

Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath?' he asked the clerk. 'I can give you a room,' the clerk said. 'But you'll have to take the bath by yourself!'

Why did the robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.

Where does a vampire take a bath? In the bat-room (bathroom).

What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!

When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty? The bathtub.

What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ? The scum of the earth !

My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear.

Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.

Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please? Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.

May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ? Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !

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