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Random Jokes

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace? Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer.

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.

Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!

Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them.

Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.

Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided to sleep on the floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he might as well get in to bed again. There's lots of room now,' he said.

Did you hear about the granny who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster by mistake? She spent the night popping out of bed.

The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you.

Who stole the sheets from the bed? Bed buglars.

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !

When is your mind like a rumpled bed? When it isn't made up yet.

How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.

How can you shorten a bed? Don't sleep long in it.

When Mr Maxwell's wife left him, he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed.

Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn't been made up yet.

Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !

When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it.


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