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Random Jokes

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

What kind of bird lays electric eggs ? A battery hen !

What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !

What do you get from a drunk chicken ? Scotch eggs !

What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A Ducktor.

What do owls sing when it is raining ? 'Too wet to woo' !

A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On the day of the wedding he says to the parrot "Now look here, I know you are always sat in that window sticking your beak in, when me and my new wife get back from the wedding I want you to turn round and and no matter what you hear I do not want you to turn back or I'll break your neck, do you understand?" The parrot reluctantly agrees. On returning from the wedding the parrot turns round as instructed, and behind him the bride and groom start to pack for the honeymoon. The wife however has packed too much and they can't get the case closed. "Get on top and sit on it baby!" Says the man the woman does so and grunts and moans but can't shut the case. "You get on top baby it might be better" Says the wife, so the man grunts and groans and tries his best but still cant shut the case. After a little thought the man says "Ok we'll both get on top see if that's any better!" The parrot turns round and says "Neck or no neck I have to see this!"

What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ? The bombshell !

What's the definition of a Parapet? Pet parrot kept by parachutist!

What did the scornful owl say? Twit twoo.

How do you make a tame duck wild? Annoy it.

What birds spend all their time on their knees ? Birds of prey !

Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!

What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon .

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ? Jail-birds !

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? You're not owld enough.

Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? "He wanted to be a hentertainer."

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet? P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

What do you call a crate of ducks ? A box of quackers !


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