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Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.

Q: Did you hear that the Clinton's had Air Force 1 remodeled? A: Now it's got two left wings.

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.

Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he's sworn in.

Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea Clinton

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.

Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.

In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton?" 86% replied, "Not again"

Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up? A: "Good morning, Bill."

Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.

Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today." She smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States."

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.

Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions? A: When he married outside of his family.

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school.

Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin? A: So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.

Q: What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect? A: Everything's $100.

Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity.

Q: What's Clinton's favorite baseball team? A: The Dodgers.

Q: Why did the IRS recently audit Bill Clinton? A: Because he filed as head of the household.


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