Find Jokes search share and view more Joke content.Funny Jokes post to Friends profiles Share to Facebook BE FUNNY. Get Joke content to share on social media. Looking for Jokes we have the most awesome collection of Joke content anywhere on the internet.
Internet Jokes Funny Profile Jokes
What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring, and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.
What food are you able to can? Cannibal (can able) food.
What ghost is handy in the kitchen? A recipe spook.
What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
What's the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.
What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you, I'll just have a slither.
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered. "Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special." "What's a Midnight Special?" "A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread." "Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?" "Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"
First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.
Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A. He was feeling crummy!
Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste.
Q: What did one strawberry say to the other? A:"Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"
WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?" HUSBAND: "No thanks. I'm too tired. Let's just eat at home."
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.
What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down? Crumbs!
Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep.
Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today. . Cook: There is. Fred: No, there isn't. There's only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ? Bean working very hard today !
©Copyright 2018 All images are provided by users we respect the rights of ALL Copyright holders and welcome any correspondence, any images that are in violation of copyright, offensive or distasteful will be removed. Please contact us regarding these issues.