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Random Jokes

What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.

What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!

Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."

Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm just passing through.

Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.

Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.

What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.

A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, "I have been walking these corridors for 300 years." The man said, "in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?"

Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big-game haunter!

Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.

Student l: "Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?" Student 2: "They are?" Student 1: "Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!"

What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end.

What is a ghost boxer called? A phantomweight.

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.

What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.

What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers.

Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.

One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks "yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice "I've lost my tail...... and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog..... "Sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night".

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars.


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