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How many letters are there in the alphabet? Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with "I." Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say "I am." Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail.
I got an anonymous letter today. Oh, really - who was it from?!
How does a ghost start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
Why is the letter N the most powerful letter? Because it is in the middle of TNT.
Why is the letter "t" so important to a stick insect? Without it would be a sick insect.
Why do postmen carry letters? Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.
Why do people leave letters at the football ground ? They want to catch the last goal-post !
Have you ever seen a duchess? Yes - it's the same as an English "s"
1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank.
Where do ghosts mail their letters? At the ghost office.
What two letters do you say when you answer the phone? LO
What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? It's a dead letter day.
What did the envelope say to the stamp? "Stick with me and we'll go places."
What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses.
What letter should you avoid? The letter A because it makes men mean.
What did the stamp say to the envelope? "I've become attached to you."
Where do you put letters to boys? In a mail (male) box.
Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She had never learned to spell properly.
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