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Random Jokes

Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ? Because the poor didn't have any !

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in the kitty !

Why is a cat like a penny? Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head? A penny.

If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have ? Someone else's coat.

What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back.

Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')

How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.

Why did your sister feed money to her cow ? Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Who makes a million dollars a day? Someone who works in a mint.

Why do wallets make so much noise? Because money talks.

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979." "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.

A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother. 'You should be on the radio,' said his brother. 'You think I'm that good?' 'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !

Where do hogs keep their money? In piggy banks.

Where do Eskimos keep their money? In snowbanks.

Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had? Because they were a nuisance (new cents).


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