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What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !

An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?" "How would you feel," the astronout replied, "if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters ''U.F.O.'' printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked ''Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object?'' The alien answered, ''No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!''

What did the metric alien say ? Take me to your litre !

Why did the boy become an astronaut ? Because he was no earthly good !

What do you call an overweight ET ? An extra cholesterol !

Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?

What is an astronomer? A night watchman with a college education.

Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch.

If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe.

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet? e-t.

What do you call a sick extraterrestrial? An ailin' alien.

I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have !

What do astronauts put on their toast? Space Jam.

What do astronauts wear to bed? Space Jammies!

Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good.

How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn.

How do spacemen pass the time on long trips ? They play astronauts and crosses !

Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, "Uh-oh cover your ears he's going to be really mad now"!


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