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"Mah son's real smart!" crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. "He's only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!" "What's his name?" asked the friend. "Bob."

"I gotta 'A' in spelling," Tony told his father. "You dope!" he replied. "There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"

Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks? Pupil: What does it spell then !

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters? NME (enemy).

School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.

Can you spell soft and slow with two letters? EZ.

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

Can you spell eighty in two letters? A-T.

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"

Spell extra wise in two letters. YY (2 y's)

Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why? Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.

Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T

What question must always be answered, "Yes"? "What does Y-E-S spell?"

Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey).

What insect can be spelled with just one letter? Bee.

How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for, isn't it?

A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' Well the Aggiess started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu.' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!'

"Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?" The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop.

Luke had it first, Paul had it lost; boys never had it; girls have it but once; Miss Polly had it twice in the same place, but when she married Peter Jones she never had it again. What is it? The letter L.


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