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Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Because they're always out for blood!

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ? Mack-u-la !

What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break.

Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name, address and blood group.

Why did the vampire take up acting? It was in his blood.

What's a vampire's favorite hobby? In-grave-ing.

How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap.

Why was the vampire thought of as simple-minded? Because he was a complete sucker.

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.

Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!

What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire.

How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.

How does a vampire clean his house? With a victim cleaner.

Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.

What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire? It bit his neck, sucked his blood and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"

What is the American national day for vampires? Fangsgiving Day.

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist? He wanted to improve his bite.

What is Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

What does Dracula say to his victims? It's been nice gnawing you.


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