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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven!
What is a chameleon's motto ? A change is as good as a rest !
When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !
What kind of noise annoys an oyster ? A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station ? Because it's a 'mane-lion' station !
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!
What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare!
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown ? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin !
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ? A tiger moth !
Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale!
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