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Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes, sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it.

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" 1st customer: "I'll have tea." 2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!" (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup. Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites !

Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.

Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered? Waiter: Well, you know how slow turtles are.

Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

Customer: Waiter, I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork.

Waiter, is there soup on the menu ? No, madam I wiped it off !

Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu: Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.

Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup! Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading

Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?

Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my salad? Not him again, he's in here every night !

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!

Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner? Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.

Customer: Why don't you have doggie bags? Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals.

Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !

And how did you find your steak sir? Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was

What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!

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