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You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Your so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a sling shot.

You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.

She's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!

Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!

You could make a fortune helping people loose weight, one look at you and they loose their appitite!

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.

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