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I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

You are a man who always sticks by his convictions. You will remain a fool no matter how much you get ridiculed for it!

Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?

What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.

If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.

She's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!

A 20th century man... The guy has no future.

Yo momma like a vacuum cleaner: A real good suck.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

You're so fat if you weighed five more pounds, you could get group insurance!

Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe thatmany people are to blame for producing you.

You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.


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