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He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats.

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

I'll hit you so hard you 'll have to take off your shoes to shit!

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

You're so dumb it takes you an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes"!

Yo momma armpits so hairy looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock!

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.

Your so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen."

Yo momma's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?

You are the answer to my prayer!! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!!


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