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You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!

If people don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.

Yo momma's so stupid she got locked in the bathroom and still peed her pants.

You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.

I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.

I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!

My other ride is your mom.

I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.

Yo momma's so fat when she gets on the bus she sits next to everyone!

I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.

The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say it was your stupidity.

He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!

Are your parents siblings?

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