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You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.

If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?

You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder

I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.

You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!

Yo momma pubic hair is so nappy the crabs ride dune buggies.

You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

Your family tree is good, but you are the sap.

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you. We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.

100,000 sperm and You were the fastest?

I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.

I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.

It is only too easy to catch people's attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before." If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.

When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound.

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