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Funny Jokes post to Friends profiles Share to Facebook BE FUNNY. Get Joke content to share on social media. Random Jokes to Post on Social Networks like Facebook get more amazing Joke content.Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? A: Double-dumb.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ? Because they're both full of stuffing !
What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Q. How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher? A.It's cloged up with paper plates.
Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
Knock Knock Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ? Blair play !
Q: What's one thing everybody sees in a blonde? A: A dick.
What do hip pigs call their ladies? Fine swine.
Where do blind parrots go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!
I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!
How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray.
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.
Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.
Why is a dog like a baseball player? He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.
A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her? It was a bright, sunny day.
There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn't subdue the blaze the owner saw this he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said, "Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. "Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die." "Shure, an' why would he be dyin'?" asked the other. "Ah, he's gotten so thin. You're thin enough, and I'm thin -- but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together."
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