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Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.
Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'
What did the man say when he got a big phone bill? "Who said talk is cheap?"
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some. "Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who ? Bologna & cheese !
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ? 'Let us prey.'
Knock Knock Who's there ! Begonia ! Begonia who ? Begonia bother me !
What is the cannibals' favorite game? Swallow my Leader.
Yo Mama's so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing "We are family...!"
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first!
Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it.
How do we know that insects are so clever ? Because they always know when your eating outside !
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him 6,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $6,000 in principal, and $18.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for t wo weeks and pay only $18.40?"
A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could. 'God,' he prayed, 'I really want a car.' Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty. 'God,' he prayed again, 'I really NEED a car.' Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his parents' bedroom, and grabbed the statuette of the Virgin Mary off the mantelpiece. He wrapped it up in ten layers of paper, using three rolls of tape and a spool of twine, then stuffed it inside a box at the very bottom of his closet. 'Okay, God,' he said, getting down onto his knees again, 'if you ever want to see your mother again...'
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist? That's right, Sir. So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend? That was my dentist.
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian? They had a feast of fun.
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