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Men are like department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Costa ! Costa who ? Costa lot !

If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call it Fed UP?

How do mountainers send messages? By ski-mail.

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Eye Patch Barbie ...with a choice of eye patch colors: purple, hot pink, or aqua!

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.

The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him. "How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did? That was completely unethical. We are always conscious of Ethics in this firm. You do know what Ethics is don't you?" The young partner is offended. "Of course I know what Ethics is. It's a county in southern England."

They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa. It's called Genitalia.

A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother. 'You should be on the radio,' said his brother. 'You think I'm that good?' 'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !

What do you call a greedy ant ? An anteater !

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant. Four fish got battered!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Brewster ! Brewster who ? Brewsters can wake you up in the morning singing cock-a-doodle doo !

How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett-e-mail!

Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A. Because in Job 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."

Q: What are the three types of men? A: The handsome, the caring, and the majority.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Blanche ! Blanche who ? Blanche not !

I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen.


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