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Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A. A rebel without a clue!

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bitter Bianca ! Bitter Bianca who ? Bitter Bianca next train out of here, pardner !

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"

Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage? A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.

Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn!

Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this? A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair - try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter? Best vicious . . .

Which is the meat patties' least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!

Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to cash his check. Since he didn't have an account there, the teller asked if he could identify himself. "Sure," said Izzard. "There a mirror around here?" "There's one on the wall right beside you," said the clerk. Izzard took a glance in the mirror and heaved a sigh of relief. "Yep!" he said. "It's me, all right!"

Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing? A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.

Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No, but I can pick it up.

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e, that is the question.

Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding.

Can you show me how to use the Internet? I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round in circles.

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking? No, I really did!

Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage.

Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!


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