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Funny Jokes post to Friends profiles Share to Facebook BE FUNNY. Get Joke content to share on social media. Random Jokes to Post on Social Networks like Facebook get more amazing Joke content.Knock Knock Who's there ! Baby ! Baby who ? Baby love, my baby love.... !
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why don't you play with your friends?' he asked. 'Because I only have one friend,' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'
Knock Knock Who's there ! Belle ! Belle who ? Belle-t up and open this door !
Waiter, what's this bug doing waltzing around my table ! It's the band, sir, they are playing his tune !
How does a leopard change its spots ? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !
A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."
A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU ???"
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "It's made in Germany". I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then". The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?" I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist, "Preparation H," said the redneck.
How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...
What is a horses favourite TV show? Neeeebours
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car.
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my l ife!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Homeless Barbie ...complete with stolen K-Mart shopping cart
Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.
Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest. The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!! Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the contract. On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded. When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription: "Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."
What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts
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