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Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.

Q.) What happens when a Blonde eats a mosquito? A.) She has more brain cells in her stomach than her head.

I saw the most beautiful cars in the window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and said: 'Come on in. They're bigger than ever and they last a lifetime!' Later I learned he was talking about the payments.

Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Briony ! Briony who ? Briony, beautiful sea !

Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?" "I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."

What did the police officer say to his stomach? I've got you under a vest.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ? A petticoat !

Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ? Clown for the count !

What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic!

Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears.

Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.

Which of the Himalayas is the shortest?

What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !

Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.

Q. Why do bakers work so hard? A. Because they need the dough

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps and jostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he states, "That's one." The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride. A bit further down the path, the woman's horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, "That's two!" He returns to his saddle and they move on. As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman's horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman's horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front o f the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, "That's three," removes a pistol from his vest, and shots the horse dead. The woman, quite upset at seeing the beautiful horse killed, says to her husband, "That's terrible, why would you do such a thing!" The man stares at his wife and firmly says, "That's one!"

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !

Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham at a Tus-caloosa ballroom. They danced every dance together. When the evening was over, he asked if he could see her next time he was in town. "Yes," replied Patricia Ann shyly. The young man hurriedly took out his pad and pencil and asked, "What's your number?" "CApitol 4-6173." After a long embarrassed pause, Duayne asked, "How do yew make a capital 4?"

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman? Frostbite.

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