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Beginning Magic by Beatrix Star

Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."

Hey, you just shot my wife. I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine !

What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant? A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.

Two owls were playing pool. One said, "Two hits." The other replied, "Two hits to who?"

Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!

I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!

Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

Why are mosquitos religious ? They prey on you !

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma'am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"

What did the bell say when it fell in the water? I'm wringing wet.

Knock Knock Who's there ! Anatole ! Anatole who ? Anatole me you're a pain in the neck !

What does CPA stand for? Can't Produce Anything

What did one candle say to the other? "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calulator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes? A. An interpreter.

Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don't 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will

Knock Knock Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ? Alistairs in this house are broken !

Mayne and Willard, two idiots, were in a rowboat on a lake fishing. Suddenly the spray from a motorboat racing by flooded their boat. "How we gonna get the water out?" asked Mayne. "Easy," said Willard. "We just bore a hole in the bottom of the boat and let the water drain out." The men drilled a hole in the bottom, and more water started rushing in. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed Mayne. "We need another hole so's the water comin' in through the first one has a place to go back into the lake!"


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