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The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen

Knock Knock Who's there ! Agatha ! Agatha who ? Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin ?

What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !

What part of a car is the laziest? The wheels. They are always tired.

Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods. 'How far is it to town?' Terry wanted to know. 'Six miles,' said Debbie. 'That's too far to walk,' Terry replied. 'It's not too bad,' Debbie said. 'We can each walk three miles!'

An old man in a nursing home awoke one day and trundled down the hallway to the community breakfast room looking rather forlorn. Ms. Smith, a nurse, met him in the hallway. She greeted him smilingly and asked how he was this day. Mr. Jones allowed that not all was well; in fact, his penis had died during the night. Ms. Smith knew that Mr. Jones was occasionally a little off mentally, so she merely replied that she was sorry to hear the bad news and went on her way. The next morning Mr. Jones was on his way to breakfast again but on this day he was dressed in a coat and tie, and his penis was hanging out of his pants. Sure enough, he met Ms. Smith whereupon -- although somewhat startled -- she calmly reminded him that the day before he had told her his penis had died and asked why it was hanging out of his pants. Mr. Jones replied simply, "Today is the viewing."

What part of a football ground is never the same ? The changing rooms !

Do hamburgers make good vampires? No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!

What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud!

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, son?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ''I'm Jesus Christ.'' The first priest says, ''No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.'' So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ''No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.'' The drunk says, ''Look, I can prove it.'' and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ''Jesus Christ, you're here again?''

When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.

Q. Where can you dance in California? A. San Fran-disco

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed? To catch her false teeth.

What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter? One to three for breaking and entering.

Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.

You're a big internet fan, arn't you? Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!

The Garlic Eater by I Malone

Knock Knock Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ? Aladdin the street wants a word with you !

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