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I`m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

traffic.

Always remember you`re unique, just like everyone else.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Sex is like air. It`s not important unless you aren`t getting any...

If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

43.3% of statistics are meaningless!

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?

If you think nobody cares if you`re alive, try missing a couple of car payments....

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Don`t worry

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Don`t be irreplaceable. If you can`t be replaced, you can`t be promoted...

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.


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