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Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

If you think nobody cares if you`re alive, try missing a couple of car payments....

He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

If you tell the truth, you don`t have to remember anything. ...

A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato—

When everything`s coming your way, you`re in the wrong lane and driving against

If someone borrows $20.00 from you and you never see them again its probably worth it...

Some days you are the bug

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be

Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget.

Never knock on Death`s door:Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that).


You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

It`s always darkest before dawn. So if you`re going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper, that`s the time to do it...

Generally speaking, you aren`t learning much when your lips are moving....

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