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No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn`t work anyway.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night....

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them....

43.3% of statistics are meaningless!

If someone borrows $20.00 from you and you never see them again its probably worth it...

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. ...

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can`t make him think.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

The believer is happy. The doubter is wise.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.


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