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Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Quantum mechanics: The stuff dreams are made of.

Always remember you`re unique. Just like everyone else...

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn`t work anyway.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them....

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you`re a mile away and you have their shoes...

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire....

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Help wanted telepathy: you know where to apply

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door..

Sex is like air. It`s not important unless you aren`t getting any...

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it


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